I wonder: why don’t people, when playing game characters, walk around the game’s city and ponder about that person eating an endless bowl of soup in the corner cafe with the same depth as they do about the man and the couple found in Edward Hopper’s masterpiece?

After all, they repeat almost the same amount of times…

The three stooges, laurel and hardy, some cartoons, Cantinflas, old movies, I was one of the last generations to see these types of shows on network TV on Sunday mornings… TV land may show it today in cable, but that’s not the point… I watched them because my dad showed them to me, and because there just wasn’t anything else on Sunday mid-mornings; that or church shows, and that just really wasn’t an option.

I remember asking dad if those shows were old, and he’d say “Si”. And i remember asking him why they didn’t have color? he’d say because those were old cameras. but that wasn’t sufficiently explicit for my infant mind. It made more sense to think that color was new, since i knew I wasn’t old, so therefore in those first attempts at a logical argument, the conclusion was obvious: color wasn’t available in the olden days; in the grandpa days. I thought that only recently the world invented color. During the time, Kodak also had tv ads that talked about how they had “blue” and “yellow” and the remaining cast of the rainbow, in their cameras (though they didn’t specify film) as if it were a modern accomplishment.

Since, I’ve come to the conclusion that black and white cameras were a bit better “Cadillacs”… they looked more like what i remember from a film. Now, film makers use black and white as an artistic style; employing it when necessary to enhance a movies storytelling needs. Think about the great films that didn’t NEED color to be great. Why are they so amazing? Is it because we cut em some slack because they’re technically “challenged”? Is Nostalgia assisting the subject matter? I can see how the acting has gotten more real, but the magic of those movies diminishes when anything is “fixed”; it seems. I remember when i thought pan and scan was better because i lacked information about what gets projected (more like what what didn’t get cut) onto my TV pixels… I used to think that the whole screen was MORE. Come to think about it… old movies weren’t wide-screen aspect ratio… another topic i guess.

I remember being a kid and learning to want black and white movies to get colorized. But then i learned about the process, about how directors think ahead about what they’re getting from their cameras; about how the “mastering” process touches up the film grain, how the film itself decays, and how the awareness of that finalization process is involved in the choices and decision directors and the rest of the crew make… colorizing never took into consideration those things. The crew were aware how a blue dress would translate into black and white, maybe that deterred them from using a blue dress… just so that the coloring process paints a characters dress blue without the film makers blessing. Touching up movies like that seems like a sin against most art. Art needs to ship, and artists (even though they’re “never done”) build respect into their artistry by showing the world how they learn to let go of their creations or let IT go on how it will, always moving on to the next project. So, coloring? no, i can take the original vision and i can try to understand it; yet, if i somehow “miss the point”, that’s OK… always more stuff to understand.

George Lucas and Steven Spielberg have proven to be the ultimate control freaks by showing others how they need to manipulated everything and even change things from their movies because “newer audiences”, blah, blah… ET was fine with shotguns, Han Shot first.

Megaman9 just came out, brand new game done in an old, 8bit style… used to enhance a games style and im sure, to help the new and “modern” audience understand the style of gameplay, while also “justifying” the “hardcoreness” difficulty the old games had… all that only through a visual art style… amazing.

but im not here to talk about that really. After all, that’s not what the title of this post hints at. I wondered, what would my kids think is “new” to their world from looking at the movies from my generation. Here are a couple of things, some societal, some topical, some technological, and then onto the one about this post:

• the lack of cellphones seen as a plot device to insert conflict into the story.
  • The plot of “reservoir Dogs” is destroyed if it were though about it occurring today. as it stands, the movie is dated to that era (before the ubiquity of cellphones) and therefore could not be remade or updated in the future.
• Characters ignorant of a broader sense of world history and world culture.
  • Since our society is up for globalization, everyone will have some details about all corners of the world; unless the writers want to risk portraying their characters as “ignorant Americans”. Therefore, even the ignorant American in the future will know where Estonia is located… Ignorant American will be antiquated and a new laundry list of ignorant things to think and say will need to be issued, one for a people that is more aware of itself… mind you, im not saying everyone will be intelligent, just less self centered about their ignorance, just a bit more global
• Availability of personal Transportation continues to fluctuate, and with it change through out the decades the viewers understanding of the people’s social class.
  • 50’s everyone had their muscle car… then people live in new york (big city that implies richness) and they dont need cars… I think more cities are going in the way of the big metro city and therefore, kids wont see having personal transportation promoted as luxurious (depends where they’re from, of course) from movies
• Movie projection unavailable in 3D or + interactivity or + sense enhancement
  • “you mean, you have to use your hands?” Elijah Wood in Back to the Future II. Displays will continue to get bigger, but megaplexes, in order to entice dwindling audiences, will make the movie experience more life like, and impossible (for a little while) to reproduce at home
• Actors being used instead of Computer Manipulated actors (for example, though it’s not a good movie “SimOne”)
  • Final Fantasy spirits within, The polar Express, Beowulf, it will continue to get better, that’s almost guaranteed. Video Games will influence this (see the next bullet) and the Uncanny Valley will be crossed within the next 10 years… I’m not hoping, I’m just sure.
• Inability to customize the actors to the viewers liking.
  • Kids will be able to say, i want to watch blues clues with me as one of the protagonists. Sesame Street will teach you the numbers with you IN the show, inserting a “dummy” 3d model of yourself with some basic AI for kids to see themselves learning the numbers in front of the count in what im coining as “4th person self juxtaposition”<- i don’t know if that makes any sense, but i have personal memories of being a kid, seeing myself in 3rd person, no mirrors around.

and the main suggestion of the post… Lots of old/aging people

I think that’s the one that might shock people/kids some years from now. Not that elders wont be around, but that they wont be so “wrinkly” (think Paris Hilton saying wrinkly). I think kids will wonder why people look old some day, and perhaps think that being and looking old is “old”. I don’t think we’re all going to mix into one race… that’s maybe tooooo many years from what this post “postulates” (couldn’t resist the alliteration, sorry). But I’ve always wondered why movies from the 30’s have women that look from the 30s, and no matter how much they try to make “modern” women look like older generations in contemporary movies, they fail miserably.

Even the accents are crucial. Everything actors did has changed; mannerisms, accents, syntax, expletives, empathy, crying, etc. Go to an elderly home of people from a particular generation, it’s like a museum… kids will see that even more. no wonder they say 30 is the new 20. We’re lasting longer, it will be documented in movies and kids will wonder and ask you, why do those people look like that, what’s with their skin and hair and posture? They were old human models, kid

Yes, I’m a rockband drummer. I’m 2 songs away from finishing all rockband 1 songs in hard, many still on Rockband 2. And although i know i can play some songs on expert mode, i kinda refuse to play at that level until i can beat “run through the hills”; Para-diddles FTW someday soon. Thanks to Taylor Popkins, Awesome Drummer!

I’ve always brown nosed drummers, much to my chagrin. The theory goes that since they hold so much of the rockness of a band, my rockness is perpetually paused until I can say, “HE/SHE’s MY Drummer!!!”  in a jealous fit of rage, warning all around to throw down a glove and prepare to duel. It’s admirable how some band members have that comradery; they show they belong to one another. Lennon said nasty things about McCartney, but he didn’t let anyone else dump on him, or anyone else in his band.

However, Drummers are a bit “aware” of their volume (spatially). Think about it, they have the largest instrument, the loudest instrument, the instrument that rarely fails on them: how many drummers play (on purpose) with broken cymbals, shitty sticks, jerry-rigged/squeaky kick pedals. Electricity is also unneeded, where as anything but a percussive instrument (pianos included), requires juice. They’re the least portable, but drummers who mind carrying their own instruments are few… AND I’VE OFFERED TO HELP THEM CARRY THEIR STUFF! have i tried! They require the best neighbors and the least micro managing parents. Yeah, there are a whole bunch of drummer jokes, but everyone knows too, no beats, no show.

Also, it seems that lots of drummers are the heads of their group. They seem to be the most entrepreneurial. maybe they need to make sure money’s coming in so they can afford the sticks

I cant wait for the legion of drummers the rock band game will unleash upon the world. This will make, indubitably, drummers easier to find and cheaper to maintain.

Anyways, I’m much better playing the drums now. The way that I’ve proven it is to record with the rockband drum kit onto MIDI for my own music. The example is on the downloads page, here’s the quick download link… oh BTW, all songs are demos until they make me money or get us a gig.

Now i need rockband guitarists.

Maybe it’s not the cutest squirrel there is. Maybe there is one with bigger eyes, flufier tail, etc. but this one found its way to our front porch. The going theory is that a stray cat dragged it to our steps as a ritualistic offering to us, “the Gods of the front and back yard, owners of the lawnmower” hominids. The picture was taken about 3 days after we found it and it seems to be (as of this writing) 4-5 weeks old. Just today, we introduced it to pealed nuts bought at the grocery store, though we should be introducing it to the nuts that are available outside where it will hopefully live its life like a normal squirrel.

It seems that when in their baby phase, all animals (as shown expertly in Spore and Viva Piñata) have their “cuteness” ratio as possibly suggested by a baby golden mask (from the golden ratio from phi)… but even more cute is the little details/animations that show us HOW it is they are cute… Panchi tried holding onto a walnut today, roleplaying as if it were older, and i toppled forward because it was to heavy for it… All I know is that this will serve a purpose someday, though i’m not sure what or how I will make that happen or when…

THE MUSEUM and social play…

I’ve never been a very social person when playing games, and although when socializing, going out and about, I’ve come to enjoy moments where i get to be a loner in a crowd… I’ll go to the museum in a group, and quickly find myself separating from the group, off to the exhibit i want to see by myself, ALONE, meeting up with them whenever I like; “playing hide and seek with my mom in the mall when im five” almost giving her a heart attack. Yes, i’m not such the “loner”, OMG look at him and his independence bs… I’ll gather back, meet up again, go do things in a group, but i, like many, like to be untethered…

All art forms have their zeniths, apexes, summits, peaks, etc. and games are no exception. Most submissions to any art form are valleys (low points) or simply messettas that keep the status quo (dont add anything new). The stars and superstars, in the form of the artist that “sells” the art to be something Genius in of itself, or it could be the piece itself, preserved for humanity’s benefit, are found and needed for any art form to be legitimized. Games are trying, to say the least, to gain some of the before mentioned: art, and worthy artist of teaching everyone else. A couple posts ago, I mentioned “THE A LIST” of games. And like a critic that has eclectic tastes in music, never knowing how to categorize something Pop/commercial like, but able to categorize weird tastes, our list is bound to be made up by weird critics and their tastes. However, it feels weird to know that many people (non critics) will continue their existence completely ignorant of those beautiful sparks available in games, just like there are many that ignore other great examples in other media. I’m one of them… I can see the growing list of important books i’ll never get to read pile up next to my bed… And I also have that list of books that “i should pick up” but wont… “I’m a slow reader”: a fact and excuse at times. That’s not really that dissimilar to how bad many of an older generation say they’ll be at any game.

Imagine the current generation of old people loving the wii… One of the reasons may be because using the arm as a whole as an input device requires less precision than using the fingers, and therefore offer more “usable precision” based on the design of the recognizable movement by the computer and therefore less performance precision. Many of our elders have lost that motor precision, one required to do simple things such as spoon feed themselves, etc. On the wii, its analogue of the simulated movement is “more” accurate, and thus requires less learning or practice to achieve. A stab/hit/swing was something that a person that is now 78 might have been learning how to pretend to do as a child playing cops and robbers in the backyard, whereas pressing a button that is mapped to stabbing is something that a person need to grok in their head in (possibly) the following number of steps a) the animation, b) the direction the orientation of the character shows onscreen, c) the resulting action collision test, etc. I can definitely say that the range of motion available to the parent appendage of my hand (the forearm) needs less coordination than the root of the hand (wrist), complexity is increased when considering the control of each finger in all degrees of motion, in effect, as the tree of degree’s of freedom branches. I cant believe that developers refuse to consider a person with arthritis; they may have less pain on their shoulder than on each finger… you are 5 times more likely to receive an injury on any finger than on the upper arm, since the fingers are more versatile and more frequently employed by its MASTER.

I suggest that we always consider the motor handicapped and ask the same questions we do when designing for less hardcore audiences… will easy, med, or hard be enough for them to enjoy a game? What about me as I get old and lose motor function due to the natural process of aging? Will I need special calisthenics in order to beat level 1-1 in Super Mario Brothers? can I compete in tetris? am i relegated to only play games like Myst (not used pejoratively)?

In other media, these problems seem to have som form of solution. For example: glasses (hearing aids… first row, etc) help people read books or see better, nurses help by reading to the blind, but when it comes to games, there’s nothing to assist playing games yet. In fact, most games pride themselves with being difficult… hardcore is an unfortunate composite word used by our industry. These devices, invented due to a “handicap” or old age, or whatever, when used to help those who typically cant enjoy the art with normal means… are equalizers.

What about game systems or storytelling devices used in games? can they evolve so that the comprehension level remains steady or grows with age? A boy reads a book, views a painting, watches a play and may not understand the subtext, but as they age, this ability only improves… games seem to neglect this (as so many other things) as they also seem to be locked in a perpetual teenage frenzy. Which leads me to this question, who is going to have the valor to make games for an aging gamer market? And, are they going to ignore that the aging gamers consider fewer games to factor less importantly in their lives, especially because they aren’t being cultured by the creators or market to expect more mature -Older- topics?

Still, bringing the human condition to games and using games to help the human condition is a worthy problem to solve… how to empower this medium with the ability to speak to humans and help humans use games as a tool for themselves. I have noticed that the more “civilized” cultures are the ones that empower those less fortunate with “equalizers” that allow them to enjoy a better quality of life. Maybe there is no solution. hell, there isn’t a standard agreeable definition of what love is… maybe it’s unsolvable at most development budgets, even Blizzards, or the games that solve it, just wont be accepted in the current market. And sadly, a many seniors who’ve figured out a thing or two about a thing or two wont be able to participate on adding their wisdom to society through games. Considering that many artists did some of their most important work right up to the moment they died of old age, which ones are contributing with their sage like wisdom, by stating it in game form to their young-lings.

I don’t know exactly how I will feel when I’m older and My hands aren’t able to do the juggling it used to do when I was younger. Maybe  I’ll feel like Michael Jordan at age 80, who’s only way to relive dunking the ball will be by looking at his old videos… only a memory. This doesn’t happen with other mediums, what can we do about this?

I wonder,  will a person watching a video of a game play-through absorb the story the same way as playing it?

There are game design problems that i have a hard time trying to discuss with coworkers. Perhaps the problem with games is similar to the situation I sense from the literature world. To many people, literature is perfect; it needs no improvement. A writer writes something, a reader reads it, repeat… and it’s been like that for a while now, why would it change and why would it need to?

well, in the case of the written word, it’s simply because more people are able to have their written word read by readers today than ever before in history; hence, this blog… I remember the first blog entry that i read like a book was The Darth Side to cure the pain I felt from episode 3 after the “NOOOoooooooo!”.

It seems to me that a big problem with games is trying to narrow down its core strength as a medium. If we put aside the question of games being art for a bit, we’re left with games being a medium that like literature, music, theatre, etc, is used for commerce. However, one thing is clear, each one of those mediums have a strength that people use to better deliver an information payload.

I suggest that language and the printing process is the technology of literature, and that its STRENGTH is narrative; one that can be delivered and crafted from and into language by a writer.

I;ve always wondered how writers feel about the cliffs notes versions of their books. Upon the inception of cliff notes; something Susan Capozza shared with me that might address this is the reader response theory. Here’s my conundrum: If i read any Shakespeare play, as long as I’m intelligent enough, i can read between the lines and deliver to my subconscious the “message” that the work speaks of, which usually, ends up addressing something about the human condition. This in turn forms the experience that Sir William intended. If not, well, at least Shakespeare had enough “pop sensibility” when writing a deep play such as hamlet, to write in it enough “action” to keep my “dumass” entertained; i may even tell others to read it because it is action packed, not because of its soliloquy.

True, there have always been book clubs that agree with their perhaps elite version of the REAL message, but the problem with Cliff Notes lies in the cementing of that or any consensus, making the experience way more rigid than an art medium really cares about solidifying any message. Is there a benefit to that concensus? Sure, but it becomes dangerous to the reader when it presents itself as an authority, depriving the reader from the ability to learn to draw his or her own conclusions. In other words, give a man a fish he’ll eat for a day, teach him how to fish, he’ll eat forever.

Are there some artists out there that are control freaks? Oh yeah! Yet, having an institution represent that, forces the message to be static, and thus, any book’s audience is fatally corralled into two camps, you’re too dumb to not get it on the first read (in which case it feels like they provide the message for dummies edition cliffs notes)  henceforth excluded from THE club… or the kool-aid drinking elite. There are ranges as with anything, true, but the majority of cliffs notes purchasers are those who NEED to up their reading comprehension through practice, not lecture.

Having a solid message is alright. Many painters had to actively fight to make sure that some kings didn’t get away with a “commissioned” painting. Some, lie Goya kept their integrity by placing hints of how awful the rulers were with new symbols depicting cruelty or by simply painting without beautifying them… go check out Francisco Goya’s stuff (he’s awesome).

Not drawn by goya, but anyway, we’ve all seen this picture.

Once people arrive at a defined consensus, people may keep further exploration from discussion; where further discussion may have been beneficial to everyone. In this drawing, showing both the old lady and the young one becomes important for the whole drawing. Now, different people see different things initially, some Old, some Young, but once somebody shows the one that’s missing from their perception, it virtually becomes impossible to remove from ones awareness. Sometimes people insert that perspective into the human condition and aid the art work and thus, its artistic merit grows. Just think about the “better” writers, who manage to deliver the message perfectly, to everyone! most of the time. They probably write simpler topics to convey to everyone. Topics such as sitcom, family oriented themes, basic instincts play to a larger majority because it’s easier to experience those feelings that are global to the human community. In contrast, the super writers that only book experts “get”, usually become important within that circle of (some would say) snobs, but are surely important nonetheless. James Joyce’s Ulysses is surely a book that i may never get to read, but i can respect what others say about it. To go even further, I may try to read, and may try to understand, and may finish it, but it doesn’t guarantee that I have the required intelligence to understand what others receive from it.

What about games then? Maybe games have such difficulty establishing themselves as self important to the global community because of this lack of layering, or obfuscations as mentioned @ GDC this year. Titles like “the marriage” play with this. I would say that the ones David Hellman brought in are not examples of this blog entry because he uses only the visuals as the duality layer. Jason Rohrer has 2 (Gravitation, Passage), Braid may be another… these are games that act like priests marrying gameplay to story… Are there others worth while? In other words, which games have “captured” an action, assimilated it into its interactive vocabulary, attached symbolism to its assisting assets connected to the “story” (if present) thus helping the player act/think/feel/grok in the same language, reinforcing in them the higher concept the developers (may or may not have) imbued into one of the games layers? The only reason that “the marriage” makes “connects” the story of Rod Humble’s marriage and immerses the player into his experience of what marriage is, is because it is CALLED the marriage. If it were titled “twin siblings” with the same mechanics, (yes, there may be incongruencies in the emergent tale), but i would not (perhaps) see the circles floating around as “affairs”, I may perhaps see it as beer, who knows… one things for sure, i cant see that game as anything else because of the words that cement the idea.

In essence, what if I somehow derrived a story or a message from Minesweeper? would we all arrive at the same story goal?

Braid seems to belong to the category of HEAVY(as said by Marti McFly) games I can recall before Braid: Passage, Portal, The Marriage, bioshock, alice, Ico, Oddworld (stranger especially), Grim Fandango, Civ, Deus Ex, spore (the preview), Cloud, Phantasy Star 2. Yeah, I’m name dropping, listing my pedigree, whatever… but although I’ll swear by them, these aren’t necessarily my favorite games, just games that I feel can live and breathe outside the video game realm. They should be stored in the vault of human achievement, yeah, the one that stores all our artistic merit.

I’m certain that I’m not alone in this feeling. We sometimes use HEAVY games just for chitchat, even with people who can’t stand or understand video games, which of course, bores and annoys them. My parents and friends, are a perfect sample audience of those that are annoyed to no end by my insistence (other mediums do the same with their supporters). Even some epiphanies Ive had about life are directly atributable to games They wont EVER care about in the most remote sense. And I want to emphasize EVER… they will die without even understanding the hand-holding bond those games create between an important story topic and some amazing gameplay.  Of course, there are many games with little lovely moments that show this flirting courtship. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter if the total sum of this union amounts only to the occasional booty call to help others witness this relationship, most people I know wont grok the connection. Others that play games to study them, speak about games as if they just read the first printing of romeo and Juliet, or THAT episode of General Hospital, etc. regardless of where the example comes from, the same passion and excitement pours out of their shared thoughts. So, I’m pointing out the range between examples of the same “genre”… in games I don’t know these are set yet. In SAT fashion, Romeo and Juliet is to General Hospital as ____________ is to Super Mario Brothers… Braid seems to fit this.

Braid adds words to the answer; that solution space.

Braid is something like a diagonal sidestep, if that makes any sense. It doesn’t try to be super popular, but it know how “polished” it is. Topic wise, it takes the untrodden path in contrast with the topics used for most games today (war/politics, sci-fi, fantasy, etc). So it steps aside from the conventional, “safe”, genre. As these topics exploited in OTHER artistic mediums(regretful loss, remorseful memories); Braid in turn, ends up delivering a very psychologically introspective game, with a lot of “applicability” to one’s self… taking that forward step by showing how the mechanics used in this game are IMPORTANT to the storytelling, not just the story. Superficially, I think Braid’s analogue would be The Beatles’ In my Life (with mellower music); beneath the surface, apparently, it has a lot to do with undo-able hell.

In My Life’s lyrics are easy to “get” and easy to experience. Who hasn’t wished they could  go back to their childhood places? Like Mitch Hedberg says: “I wish i could play little league right now… they’d back the fuck up!” We all want to revisit, conquer those losses, and relive the wins… While playing Braid, I actually wondered if this game was Autobiographical; kinda saying, “Wow, Jon! it’s as if you wrote that song for me” and he could turn into an acerbic John Lennon and treat me like John Lennon treated a fan that shows up at his house in the “Imagine” documentary without offering them a sandwich. I actually hope in a way it wasnt; making it simply an example of some good, creative writing that reaches inside me, not just Braid being Jon’s experiences packaged and resold – which it isnt. A director that only direct autobiographical stuff usually has issues when directing other people’s great scripts… heard Ebert say that once and it made sense.

If, in games, you need to play the game in order to get the message, then it definitely states that games are contributing significantly to the art world, and that the voice (its quality, inflection, accent, etc) is as important as the message. If my dad can “get” it without experimenting or playing with the design choices, then the gameplay is superfluous to the message Braid is attempting to deliver, and a movie such as The English Patient, or in this case, a song like In my life would suffice for that artistic topic, e.g. I can tell you how star wars starts… ends, but the experience (Empire strikes back!!!!!! especially) MUST be viewed.

Braid has that message found in those places, only because it is a message that will continue to reappear throughout human history, or as long as human beings are able to experience a sense of loss. It’s no wonder why new songs still talk about “baby, i love you, i miss you, forgive me” (also mentioned in Braid). But it goes a bit further than that. I can totally skip parts in Braid. I can’t do that as easily in other mediums. Maybe in paintings. I can block out a portion, never ask anyone and draw my own conclusion about that white spot next to that Jesus figure and go on my merry way and wonder what that flat cloud of white meant (was it finished, was it intentional). In songs, I can replace, “rape me” in my head with “rave me” if i never bothered to look up the lyrics, or Jimmy is actually kissing this guy (Purple haze) and I’ll continue to think that… fine! But most of these occur because of a mistaken observation on part of the user done by ACCIDENT… mostly, hardly ever intentional. Either Braid actually invites me to randomly access bits of info, or just frankly doesn’t care. It certainly allows me a freedom I wish people and life afforded me, to actually be selective about my bad memories. Like they say, “those with a clean conscience, have a bad memory”… and the fact that this game allows that, that alone, helps the interactive medium have a unique say.

It Ends

But underneath it’s belly, after its conclusion, “The Princess” feels as perverse as “The Precious”. I’ve read some Internet blogs that say how it’s like this or that, trying to derive it’s true definition. I wonder how much the truth actually matters.

So, It’s all Peachy?

DO I have some complaints? yes… one would be that only Braid and the Princess, and maybe the effects on the background seem to have anything to do with the actual story. The monsters are too generic… Psychonauts had the “figments”, objects that had agency into both gameplay and story and storytelling… very few things in Braid have much to do with that… though I feel it’s my lack of perception that blocks that awareness. Replayability is low… save for speed runs. I would like to “perform” this game in front of others to see how they feel the story, but since the story is delivered in text, it would be “stiff” for the delivery of that performance to stop in front of those books and have the viewers read it. Oh, and the mechanics are too good to be left in only those levels, not saying that the game is short, but i wanted more (I think Jon intended this, so kudos).

I’m sure we can all agree (if you made it this far) that this “dissertation” feels longer than Braid feels to play, and still, Braid will provoke you to think about it this long… even long after “finishing” it. Like Harvey says and I love reading, “Amazing. Braid is Amazing.”

I want to destroy without thinking

I want to construct till it snowballs

I want to play agame that plays itself

I want to accrue wealth

I want to sustain a system or play a game till its blindingly fast no one around me can understand what’s going on

I want to play a game that reminds me of saturday morning cartoons

I want to play a game that makes me feel guilty about having done something, but then forgives me so i keep wanting to do it

I want to play a game that teaches me superflous things, a la Discovery Channel, so i can bring it later to the “water cooler”

I want to play a game that shows im the best in the world

I want to play a game where I risk something seriously, so that i am exillarated

I want to play a game that teaches me how to recreate something in the real world (like drums or surgery)

I want to play a game that makes my girlfriend and i share an activity like renting a movie as an excuse to make out or just have a good friday night

I want to play a game that helps people around me understand how i feel, like a sock puppet at the psychologist

i want to play a game that lets me customize and show off exactly who i am

I want to play a game that helps me with school

i want to play a game that makes me feel like a good girl who falls for a bad boy just to piss of her father

i want to play a game that brain washes and helps me quit smoking, withou it being a 12 step program purchase

I want to play a game that helps me make friends by gettin them to understand my stuttering and insecuritieas as something trivial

I want to play a game that shows me how the other half actually lives and helps me live that way

I want to play a game that people at cnn are telling other that they have to play it

I want to play a game against someone “important” so they say wow, email me anytime

I want to play a game that leaves tangible rewards

I want to play a game that helps me understand why im dying

I want to play a game that plays itself after i beat it, so I can relive the experience while i just weant to play something on the tv that isnt cable or a movie…

This has to do with tangible rewards! I go turn the xbox on, and try to load any other game, and i look to the side and see the drum kit staring at me telling me, why play any other game that doesn’t really teach you anything? what, you’re going to learn that new “combo”? OOOh, wow, what an impressive skill? learn to play the drums dude, that will make people LOOOOVE you! and i load rockband on and remember that it’s late and i cant really play that loudly, i swear, the pads sound like buckets sometimes. I first saw a bucket drummer in Boston ‘99 near the Orpheum theatre for Chris Cornell’s tour.

Anyways, i turn it off and do something else, something else not being finishing the pile of games that are yet to be half way through completion. I’ve always been slow to finish games; you know, beat the first level, level two a month later… KOTOR took me 2 years. I was surprised I remembered most of the story each time i played it.

Portal did keep my attention; though, and I think it’s because i feel I’m learning something i cant explore somewhere else. It’s as if the games that get played the most are the ones that facilitate something i have a hard time doing without the game. Perhaps the same could be said about those that play many military driven stories, they cant go in the military (for whatever reason: principle, disability, occupation, age) but the games they most enjoy facilitate that.

The drums facilitate my having to purchase one. I hope the next version comes with cymbals and a windows game to MIDI driver.